Let me set the scene –> I am driving (and I tend to be one of those people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, so I don’t like people yappin’ at me when I’m driving, talking on the phone, typing … you get the gist?)
Anyway, I have Lizzy (aged 7) along for the ride. She is watching some kind of cartoon in the van (mom-mobile –> if you you need a visual, you can go and watch “mom my ride” – I seriusly had the duct tape mirror for two years). OK, back to the darn story … sheesh … talk about going off on a tangent … oops! I am at it again and that is exactly why I have to concentrate on one thing at a time.
Sooooo … she is watching a cartoon and there is some kind of song about how
man humankind has come a long way.
Lizzy says, “Mom, do you think we’ve come a long way?”
“Hmmm, nope just a couple of blocks … sit back … QUIET … I’m driving,” I say!
Lizzy says, “NO Mom, since we were cavemen, do you think we’ve come a long way?”
“Ummm … yah, I guess … do you,” I ask?
Lizzy says, “yes, I think so.”
Breaks squeal …
“That effin’ son of a b-word cut me off,” I say!
My heart is pounding, and I feel really guilty.
“Sorry Lizzy, never tell anybody mommy said that … OK?” The guilt for being a fouled mouthed mother … makes me chatty (even though I am driving).
Note how I am worried that other people might find out, yet I forget to tell her not to use foul language herself –> mommyknows better –> SHAME!
“Why do you think we’ve come a long way,” I ask?
Lizzy says, “Well we invented electricity, matches, (there’s a pause) AND bear spray!”
“BWAAHAAHAA,” I laugh (LOUD)!
BEAR SPRAY … now how in the hell, did that get in the top frigging 3?
You have to love it … HAHAHA – Bear Spray!