Kim Becker {aka MommyKnows}
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So Little Time …

in Family, General

Edit: Thank you all for all of your kind comments, well wishes and prayers!

It’s been a rough couple of days. A lot of work (tradeshow), meeting with my accountant. This time of the year wears me down. However, far worse and very sad was the passing of a friend. I am having a hard time keeping up.

One of my brother’s very best friends (and my friend as well) passed away this week suddenly from an aneurysm. His viewing was this evening. Howie was a Buddhist so it was a different sort of ceremony from others I have been to. Although, I didn’t understand exactly what was taking place, it was very beautiful and definitely a celebration of Howies life.

We were given a blessing when we arrived ~ a small envelope with Chinese writing on it. The young man who gave it to us, thanked us for coming and gave us each the blessing. My brother opened his as soon as we started our drive home. The envelope contained a candy and a coin. I wondered out loud if we should save them or eat/spend them, thinking maybe it would be wrong to eat/spend them or if we were meant to … hmmm! I want to save mine, to remember Howie, but my brother ate his candy and is going to spend his coin on something Howie would have liked. Does anyone have any idea what ‘etiquette’ is for this? I don’t want to save Howies blessing to me if I am supposed to use it.

Howie you were kind and generous! I will (do) miss you.


A have safe weekend. Cherish your friends and family.

xo Kim

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • jw4mkc September 14, 2007, 10:04 pm

    I lost someone VERY dear to me to an aneurysm as well! It is so devastating, as, like a heart attack, it is sudden and no time for formalities. I feel ya’lls pain and will keep yall in my prayers – and Howie and his family as well.

    Oh, and I know nothing about the coin/candy..maybe you can look it up online.

  • Michelle September 14, 2007, 10:10 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss, words are just so lame at times like these. But I am able to help you with the symbolism of the coin and the candy, you are supposed to eat the candy to take away the bitterness and sorrow, and to remember the sweetness of life and the one who has passed. The coin should be spent, I think it brings good luck.

    Hope your weekend is full of love and laughter.

  • Happy Geek September 14, 2007, 10:13 pm

    So sorry about your loss.

  • glittersmama September 14, 2007, 10:28 pm

    I like when funerals are more about the celebration of the person’s life rather than mourning their passing. I’m glad that it was a special experience.

  • Beth September 14, 2007, 10:33 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss-that is difficult.

  • Nikki September 14, 2007, 11:28 pm

    Sorry for your loss. My opinion would be to eat the candy and spend the coin. I remember hearing that some cultures do this sort of thing.

  • Yan September 14, 2007, 11:44 pm

    I am so sorry for you lost.

    I have been to Buddhist funeral before, but did not receive anything like yours. But if you can scan the Chinese writing and send it to me, I might be able to help you out.

  • Amanda September 15, 2007, 5:36 am

    Oh, Kim, I am so sorry for your loss. Although it sounds like Howie would rather you think of his passing not as a loss but as having had the wonderful opportunity to experience something special even if for only a short time. Sometimes it seems that somethings (or some people) are so rare and special that we only get to experience them as “limited time opportunities” – as hard as that may be for those after they are gone.

  • Carey September 15, 2007, 5:58 am

    Sorry to hear of your loss.

  • Safire September 15, 2007, 6:01 am

    Sorry to hear of your loss. It’s difficult to loose someone suddenly. My thoughts are with you and your brother and Howie’s family.

  • Heather September 15, 2007, 7:22 am

    I’m so sorry about your loss.

  • Andrea September 15, 2007, 7:40 am

    So sorry to hear about your loss…we will definitely be thinking and praying for you!

  • Jaime Stephens September 15, 2007, 9:06 am

    I’m sorry to hear of your friends passing. My step mother passed away from an aneurysm when I was only 7 years old. It was so hard to comprehend that she had tucked me into bed the night before and the next morning I was being awoken by the police to see if I was okay. Such a hard thing to go through at any age.

    I’m glad that the blessing was a great celebration on his life and all that was Howie.

    Hope you have a great weekend as well Kim.

  • Susy-Q September 15, 2007, 9:06 am

    The loss of a close friend is difficult. I am sorry for your loss. I think I would eat the candy and keep the coin. What would Howie have done?

  • Laura September 15, 2007, 9:10 am

    Sympathies for your loss. Death is so impossible to comprehend, especially when it is someone in your peer group.

  • Alexia September 15, 2007, 10:06 am

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss (((hugs)))

  • Montserrat September 15, 2007, 10:15 am

    Losing a dear one is rough. I send my condolences.

  • Deb September 15, 2007, 1:36 pm

    Sorry to hear about it…losing someone is always tough.

  • serina September 15, 2007, 2:03 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Naomi September 15, 2007, 2:37 pm

    I think you are supposed to eat the candy and use the coin, sort of symbolic of the fact that life goes on for those left behind.

    So sorry for your loss.

  • Heather September 15, 2007, 4:08 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Jenny M September 15, 2007, 6:38 pm

    (((((HUGS)))))) to you on your loss. According to the San Jose news- Candy is to eat immediately, to sweeten the sadness of his death, the other to spend that day.

  • Lisa September 15, 2007, 7:55 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for the family in this tough time.

  • Mefeng September 16, 2007, 1:43 am

    So sorry for your loss.
    The coin is for good luck and to be spent, preferably on something sweet, and the candy should be eaten in order to cast away the bitter taste of death and any bad luck.

  • Karen M September 16, 2007, 6:00 am

    Hope you feel better soon. Losing a friend is never easy. ~K~

  • Jamie September 16, 2007, 11:31 am

    Oh girl. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you.

  • Kelly September 16, 2007, 12:28 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. It must be so difficult to lose someone so suddenly. I know you’ll miss him terribly. I’d never heard of the candy and coin before, but the symbolism that others have mentioned is touching.

  • Hannah September 16, 2007, 4:31 pm

    Kim, I’m so very sorry to hear about your friend’s passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Bree September 16, 2007, 7:10 pm

    I am sorry :( (((hugs)))

  • Deb on the Rocks September 16, 2007, 7:25 pm

    I am sorry for your loss and for all that it brings to your mind. The candy and coin are, as others said, to be used to remind you that just as candy and coins are soon gone, so is life, but though life is short-lived, it is sweet and valuable and should be “consumed”, spent freely, and celebrated in the moment.

    Peace and prayers to you.

  • Amanda September 16, 2007, 7:33 pm

    Deb on the Rocks – you summed it up beautifully and succinctly in your comments post. Wonderfully stated… and something we should all strive to do.

  • Kilikina September 16, 2007, 10:32 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Diane September 16, 2007, 11:09 pm

    whenever I have a bump in my road it reminds me to hug my baby a little tighter and be that much more thankful for the gift we were given.

  • Jenny M September 17, 2007, 12:58 pm

    (More HUGS))) Wow, thats a lot to process in a few days. Although Im excited to see what you have bought, take some time for you. You have such great prizes in the contest that Im sure its fantastic stuff.

  • PamW September 17, 2007, 2:36 pm

    (((hugs))) I hope things are going better for you.

  • Karen September 17, 2007, 7:28 pm

    Hope you are doing at least a bit better by now

  • Karen September 17, 2007, 7:32 pm

    (((((Hugs)))) What an interesting blessing/ token (the candy and the coin) I had not heard of it before. ((((More and More Hugs!)))

  • Michelle September 17, 2007, 8:57 pm

    I like deb on the rocks’ comment – live life freely you only get once chance!

  • Kendra September 17, 2007, 9:28 pm

    So sorry to hear about the passing of your friend.

  • Tasha September 17, 2007, 10:58 pm

    Very sorry to hear about your friend. My condolances to you and your brother.

  • Denette September 17, 2007, 11:56 pm

    Sorry for you loss. I love the idea of the candy and coin, very cool.

  • Kait September 18, 2007, 7:34 am

    I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing better.

  • lace September 18, 2007, 8:03 am

    Take some time to be with your family.

  • Marcy September 19, 2007, 1:04 am

    I am soooooo sorry for your loss.

  • Neisha September 20, 2007, 7:33 am

    I’m also very sorry for your loss. The coin is for good luck and the candy is to remove the bitter taste of death. I don’t know if you are supposed to spend the coin. In my opinion, you should probably carry it with you for luck. I hope this helps.

  • Marcy September 24, 2007, 4:42 am

    Fantastic discounts related to the clothing and accessories available at one of the best sites………….!!

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