What follows is one of my top ten most embarrassing moments!
Early 1990’s – Applebeeâ€™s Restaurant
I was on a date with a Dork. Just so you know it wasn’t the first date with ‘the Dork’ and it wasn’t the last. That last part probably doesn’t matter, but I’m telling you anyway.
(psst… don’t think I am mean calling him ‘the Dork’, he turned out to be much worse, but it a long, long story – just take my word for it, OK?)
‘The Dork’ and I were seated in a booth, across from each other. I am sure I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I have a serious (but not debilitating) diet cola addiction, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise, that I had a VERY large and icy Diet Coke in front of me. It’s also important that you know that the drink was really tall and the straw very long (remember those two details, ok?).
Just a sec… Iâ€™m going to run and grab a drink.
OK, I’m back…
‘The Dork’ was intent on holding my hands, and because it was beginning to dawn on me fairly quickly that ‘the Dork’ was indeed a Dork, I was avoiding his hand holding. I had decided that until the food came and I could busy my hands with sharp utensils, I would keep my hands out of his reach and under the table.
This left me drinking my TALL drink, with the LONG straw, hands free. I know, it sounds relatively simple right? Lean forward, place mouth over straw and drink.
WRONG … I leaned forward to insert my mouth over the straw, but that damn LONG straw (in the TOO tall glass) had other ideas and went straight up my right nostril. I immediately jerked my head back and away from the drink/straw, but the horror wasn’t over … the frigging straw was firmly planted up my nose and just hanging there!
HANGING THERE! OUT OF MY NOSTRIL!
This is a re-enactment done by a seasoned professional – DO NOT try this at home!
I really don’t remember what happened next, the HORROR! My mind goes all dark and fuzzy and I can hear hysterical laughter. It might be my own.
I think I need to lie down. I’m deep breathing … breathe, breathe…
We did finish our dinner. We went out again after that! Why? I have had many years to ponder this question and I am pretty sure that he’d never seen anything inserted anywhere on a date before and was hoping to get to ‘second base’.
Why did I go? Well, I wanted to say, “Yes” when asked … “did you ever go on another date”? Call it vanity…
Now, I want to know yours! Spill the beans!
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28 comments… add one
All I can say is that I hope you didn’t use that particular straw in your diet coke again! Cindi
I just knew the straw went up your nose, the picture added the perfect touch! So did you get another straw?
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Ugggh – you would make us post one of OUR most embarassing moments. Mine was in high school. We had to take a speech class our freshman year (mind you a very awkward year as it is). Well one of our first speeches was on “public speaking” itself. I being uber-nervous read directly from my notecards – including my typo that introduced my topic as being PUBIC speaking. I actually said PUBIC speaking to my fellow co-ed freshman class…. UGGHHHHH.
OMG, that story almost made me pee my pants! Hilarious…sounds like something I would do…I’m such a klutz!
I wish I could think of an embarrassing moment……hmmmm…..I’ll get back to you and if I don’t, come remind me!
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I think one of my most embarassing moments has to be when, after a long and tiring road trip, I picked up a giant glass of soda at a diner, and dropped the entire thing on my lap. I don’t know exactly how my hand malfunctioned and that entire thing slipped out of my hands, but I felt pretty dumb as a 25yo who spilled her drink. Not to mention that I had to go into the bathroom to attempt to sponge it out and blow dry myself under the hand dryer. ick.
I guess your story kinda brough that memory back. Thanks a log. :)
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I was at a Christmas party and there were a ton of kids there (I was at the wise old age of 17). I walked up to one at the buffet table and patted their head-asking who they belonged to. Oh my god, it was one of the moms (and she had to tell me), then she just kind of laughed at me. I hid the rest of the day.
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That is so funny. I’ve gotten a straw in the nose before, but it didn’t hang suspended and it wasn’t on a date. I don’t have any funny stories of myself. But I do have one about my sister. She went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. After dinner, they headed to a restaurant/bar to meet up with a group of friends. She was so nervous that she kept drinking to loosen up. Turns out it she had too much. She got so sick in the bathroom that her date had to go into the ladies room and carry her out and to the car. To my surprise, they went out again. And eventually got married!
Sleep walking in the college dorms and cutting my knee so badly on the toilet paper dispenser (I wasn’t using the bathroom.) that I needed 26 stitches.
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I don’t really have a most embarrassing story, a lot of my adolescent years were embarrassing (I’m a huge klutz). When I was about 20 we were out at the bar and there was a guy giving out passes for a local ski hill. We had just gotten there and at such I had only one drink under my belt. The floor was soaked and I got knocked into by people trying to get the passes and I went flying. Smack dab on my butt :O( So embarrassing! The guy handing out the passes looked at me with so much pity in his eyes that I’ll never forget it. He did give me two passes for my troubles… but what an embarrassing night. I felt like everyone was looking at me all night….
Well- one is that I dumped a whole plate of spaghetti in a customers purse- yup- the tray was a little to heavy and the floor a little too slick and yup the purse was open= WHAT A MESS!! Also for those same customers- I sent a roll flying across the room= watch out for the croissant!!
Oh my goodness…haha!!! My most embarrasing moment happened when I was a teen – I tripped over a log in the dark – fell straight forward and while groping for ANYTHING to grab ahold of I grabbed onto a guy’s leg from behind (who unfortunately happened to be standing directly in my falling path – ha!) and held onto his leg for dear life – and then slowly slid down his leg until I reached the ground. Oh. my. goodness. I was SOOO embarrassed…oh, and it was a guy I knew too and saw every week at church and youth group – yeah – you can guess how long it too me to live down THAT one! haha
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I felt like I was reading something out of my own life. I totally get the hands under the table and anything else to avoid holding hands–especially in public…or should I say pubic.
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Your story had me laughing!
Last week, I went to go get the mail. It was warm enough that I didn’t put on a coat (well it was warm enough that I wouldn’t freeze to death just walking to the mail box and back). There was also no snow so I went out in my slippers. Well after getting the mail I realize that maybe it’s a little too cold to not have worn a jacket so I begin to rush up to the house. When suddenly I find myself flying through the air Superman style. Next thing I know I’m laying on the brick sidewalk in a daze staring at the days mail scattered in front of me. What just happened?! I begin to notice a searing pain in my knee. I quickly pick myself and the mail up and notice that there is a car stopped at the stop sign. He was there when I was at the mailbox! As I rush into the house I hope that I was far enough up the driveway that my car blocked their view of my Superman reanctment. I fear it wasn’t though because they are still sitting at the stop sign and there appears to be no traffic. Are they trying to control their laughter before they begin driving again?
I am still dealing with the pain of that day. My wrist is very sore and stiff. It was very embarrassing but also very funny! I would have loved to have seen it happen.
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Maybe I am lucky… I could not find something like that in my life!!
The superman story also made me laugh a lot!!!
great embarrassing stories! I get embarrassed quite easily, but I should add, I don’t have any realy stories like that. We went out for dinner around Christmas (it was actually our anniversary) at Montana’s. My in-laws were there, as well as my bro-in-law and his wife. My f-i-l told the staff it was our anniversary…so out came a giant moose head and she stood at our table and yelled to the entire restaurant that it was our anniverary. I refused to put the hat on (just heard about a lice outbreak that day), but getting singled out was enough for me.
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I thought you were going to say you spilled all down the front of you. I must say that i have done that, wearing white pants and all. I was twirling the straw in the glass, and over it went. All i remember was standing in the bathroom trying to dry off under the hand dryer…yup..so whenever i see my kids touching there straws, i immediately tell them to stop or they just might end up wearing it.
Hmmm… I think I’ve tried to block most embarrassing moments out of my memory…
There was one time when I was goofing around with one of my Godsons. Before I had kids of my own, so he was probably about 3… we were in a store where they were getting fitted for tuxes. I picked him up to swing him around, and he started yelling, “my penis, my penis!! Auntie Hubel, you’re hurting my penis!!”
Oooeee, was my face red. I understand teaching kids the proper names for bits and pieces, in fact I do it with my own, but that day I was really wishing his mother had taught him some cutesy name for his bits.
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LOL, that’s funny!! I honestly can’t remember any embarrassing tales. It’s not that I haven’t had any, I guess I just have some unconscious way of forgetting about them. I could certainly never retell them in the humourous way you just did, complete with re-enactment photos!
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Until my son was 15 months old, he wouldn’t stay in the nursery at church. He would cry his way out…forcing the workers to page us…and either my husband or I to come to his rescue. One such Sunday, I went to pick up my baby in shambles from being separated from us for 20 minutes, decided to nurse him to calm him down and to reassure him that we loved him, and then joined my husband in the foyer for the post-service social time and snacks. I was out there for probably 15 minutes before another mom told me that I had breast milk on my shirt…of course, on the embarrassing part of my shirt in front of my breasts bringing full attention to them…agh…
I went an entire day with a lollipop stuck in my hair. Playgroup, grocery store, lunch, meeting… not one person mentioned it.
Wow! I admire your bravery for sharing this with the public! Thanks for the smile!
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My oldest son could not make the tr sound and loved trucks at two. So for about 6 months every time he saw a truck he would yell truck except it came out with a f sound. So in parking lots he would just be yelling truck with the f sound instead of the tr sound. I would try to run to my car nd avoid eye contact with everyone around me
Oh. my. goodness. Had such an entertaining time reading this, with all the comments too. Let’s see… to pick just one embarrassing moment from my life… maybe the time a guy I had a big crush on was walking me back to the dorms after class. We took a short cut across a field when the sprinklers kicked on, and the spray hit me so squarely in the face that it knocked my contact lens right out of my eye. There I was, dripping, looking like a wet dog, trying to get back to the dorm with as much decorum as I could muster, but blind as a bat in one eye. And he somehow managed to stay completely dry…
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Oh you are bringing back lots of memories of why I do not use straws!! I can’t think of any specific embarassing moment as I have too many of them
This little story isn’t about me (but could be). It’s fresh in my mind and if the girl it happened to was reading this blog today, she would probably write this story.
This last Sunday, my son started his swimming classes again. There are different age groups. One group has tiny little babies. This one woman (whose body does not bear ANY marks that she carried and birthed her child and who wears a bikini and a body to wear it with–is anyone sensing my annoyance?) was breastfeeding her little baby girl in the changing rooms. A few moments later, as I was waiting on the side of the pool for my hubby and son to come out of the men’s changing room, I noticed her coming out of the lady’s. Well, she had forgotten to cover her nipple with her tiny bikini top! There she was walking around with her little girl on her hip and her boob hanging out on the other side. Yikes, I thought. I could tell people were noticing but no one dared tell her. She sat down on a chair and quickly went to her.
I said, “Excuse me, but you probably want to readjust your bikini.” She looked at me like I was crazy and started fiddling with her bikini bottom.
“Uhh, no, I meant the top.” She finally looked down and turned four shades of red in an instant.
“I was just breastfeeding,” she said.
“Well, your daughter is lucky.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
So that was it. I think this one probably made her top 10.
I can’t recall one..but I did embarass myself shopping the other day..and lived to blog about it – my most recent one.. Still can’t believe I said it!
Gosh, I wish I could think of one.. I do know that the first time I kissed (really kissed) a guy, I went in the house afterwards and ran my tongue all along the outside of my mouth and said “yup..” – That is how it was – YUCK!!!
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this is classic! thats awesome! hahahahhaa your picture is awesome too! love it :)
whats my most embarrassing..gosh- I can’t think of one because I embarrass myself all.the.time. The only one I can think of right now is when I was a senior in highschool a group of my friends and I all went to a parking lot to have a tailgate party and we were dared to see if bums lived in the bushes on the backside of the abandoned building and once over there- the boys took off and left all of the girls alone- there was blood curdling screaming and running…and me peeing my pants. No one knew- but I had to ask my boyfriend if he had a sweatshirt to wrap around my waist and to take me home asap…haha of course I made him swear to never tell. :) Good thing I married him eh?
Great post! You have inspired me to write about one of my many embarrassing moments on my blog. Here’s another one. When I started working my first ‘real’ job for a broker I managed to wear a dress that when the sun hit it the right way was sheer in the back (I had no idea). Well, it must have been a sunny day because my boss informed me that I should stay seated when a customer came in so that they wouldn’t see my ‘naughty’ underwear. I was wearing underwear with the words ‘naughty’ on the butt and it turns out it was easy to read through my dress. I sat down the rest of the day.
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